Tag Archives: Toddler

Mummy in Mourning

28 Feb

Now that I have got over myself and made you aware that I am pregnant again it seems like I have 37 weeks worth of banal comments to share with you. I will avoid this as best I can but there are a couple of things that have given me pause for thought and made me wish I was blogging to share.

I go to a lovely toddler class run by an ex-midwife most weeks. Its a really chilled out class that the bambina loves and is frequented by a lot of 2nd time Mums. Over time I’ve got chatting to one lady imparticular (we’ll call her Jill) who has a 3 year old girl and a 6 month old little boy. She’s one of those people who you almost know you’ll get on with on sight and she’s kept a bit of an eye on me during my pregnancy.

4/5 months in to my (very much planned) pregnancy I had a bit of a wobble you see. I suddenly realised that it wouldn’t just be me and my little girl anymore. (Not to exclude my lovely hubby but just to be honest about how I feel). I was sad for me and I was sad for her; She would now have to share me when all my focus, attention and love had been on her for the best part of two years. Rationally I knew it would be ok, that I would love no 2 just as much as no 1 and that I would make sure my first born felt just as important as she always had but…the thoughts were there in the back of my head and were inclined to make me weepy mid “mummy cuddle”.

Jill had me figured out straight away. She said that whilst she’d been pregnant second time round she had become an emotional wreck that her other half really struggled to manage. She was “in mourning” for her relationship with her little girl. Her phrase. And would frequently burst in to tears at the prospect of what she had done to her family, her daughter and herself. In comparison I have been relatively sane. The tears have been sporadic at best and I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t occasionally have a quiet weep at my lovely daughter pregnant or not. So in short her honesty made me feel a lot better, and a lot more normal.

It was only last week that I realised what Jill described was really quite serious stuff in her case and actually translated into post natal depression after she had her little boy. The revelation that in the car on the way home from hospital after having her little boy she told her husband that she “loved one of her children and not the other” was the start of a struggle to bond with her 2nd born that she’s now more than over but needed midwife intervention.

So where does this leave me and my head. As the pregnancy has progressed I’ve realised that I will miss just having one baby girl, but I am also so very lucky to be adding another little girl to my family. As time has gone on I know for sure that i’ve got more than enough love to go round.

Something to say but how to say it?

27 Feb

Well, I’ve been away a while – but I’m back. (I’m sure you’re all thrilled…).

Randomly the reason I have been out of the loop for the best part of 7 months is due to my inability to construct a paragraph that told anyone interested I was expecting baby no 2. I’m not a fan of broadcasting your scan pictures on facebook and the suchlike. It seems like a very personal thing and something the whole world doesn’t necessarily need or want to hear about. So not only telling facebook friends, (who at least have the benefit of knowing my actual identity), but also readers of my blog, just didn’t sit right.

After several attempts at what could have been termed an “announcement” on the blog, I gave up. I have quite a few excuses that don’t involve pregnancy too. My hubby decided that he didn’t want to move house after all (after we’d sold ours and bought another); We embarked on a major extension to our current home; My employer started legal proceedings against my husband (their ex employee)…..I could go on. But, the basic facts as of today are:

1. I am 37 weeks pregnant and expecting another little girl,
2. I finish work this Friday for another years maternity leave,
3. Our kitchen extension is not yet complete.

Relaxing.

So, i’m back to talk about what its like to be pregnant with no 2 and also to make you aware of some lovely fashion finds for Mum, baby and toddler that I have found along the way over the last few months. I will be back over the next 48 hours with a “proper” post to be entitled “Mummy in Mourning”. Its good to be back.

Sippy Cup to Beaker?

22 Jun

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Alongside my ongoing concern that the babe should be using cutlery, I am now thinking that I should be thinking of moving her onto an open cup. She discarded her bottle at 12 months and has happily used a hard spout sippy cup for all her drinks ever since. She is however taking more or more interest in drinking from my cup or mug and I have always been led by her so ….

Amusingly, her attempts to drink from mummy’s cup are, whilst successful, more like lapping than drinking. In the manner of a small dog!

The Doidy Cup may just make all this easier and is recommended by all the Amazon Mum’s out there. I’ll give it a go and report back.

I am however aware that the babe will reach these milestones in her own time, whether or not I stress about it. Motherhood – easier said than done.

Toddler poo problems

30 May

After a week out of the blogging game I am coming back with the unusual mix of toddler nutrition and harem pants. Let’s deal with first things first. The babe has struggled with her poos from being a tiny thing. (It runs in her family bless her). I gave her water in between feeds when she was three months to help and anticipated drama when she moved to solids. Whilst weaning wasn’t disastrous – the babe is a tremendous eater and there are few things she won’t sample – each new food introduced had to be given an opportunity to get out of her system again before we new what trouble it might cause.

I think I have been pretty good with what I give her to eat. I bought a brilliant Beaba Babycook which I would highly recommend and which ensured early weaning friendly purées in minutes. I succumb to Ella’s kitchen fruit smoothie pouches for ease but how bad can 100% fruit be? Well, it turns out pretty terrible for a toddler with a sensitive digestive system. Despite the best efforts of my somewhat old school health visitor, the babe has struggled with her poos for at least 6 months.

My lovely childminders who I frequently praise on the blog took it upon themselves to point out to me that some of the stuff I was giving her to eat was really not helping. Some might take offence but I was soooo grateful. They know I’m a mum who only wants the best for her girl and will do anything in her power to make her life easier and I’m confident they respect me as a parent. So why not take a little advice from parents and carers who have a lot more experience in life and child rearing than me. Taking her off her favourite bananas and substituting pears and apples was a big one. (Bananas are all sugar apparently). Red meat and pasta together are almost impossible for small children to digest. (Out went her favourite homemade spaghetti bolognese and in with the ratatouille). And all per packed foods for children have massive amounts of sugar in them, natural or not, that exacerbates any digestive issues. (Even her Petit Filou yogurts have been switched for Greek yoghurt and fruit purée, very tasty).

When I went to pick her up tonight I discovered that the childminders had bought me two recipe books to help me and congratulate me on my success. How lush. I may now need to seek out the health visitor who told me that the babe should be eating the same meals that we eat all the time……

My other promised topic was harem pants. I am a big fan and I am too for the babe in summer. When she was tiny she had some gorgeous white linen ones, long ago too small. Imagine my excitement when I came across some new ones in Next yesterday. Gorgeous detail and a good price for a lovely quality item. Still available online at £11. The shot is of the babe sporting her harem pants in portugal last summer. She was the grand old age of 5 months….

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